I just turned 45 and my whole life seems to have turned upside down. Suddenly I am being cosmically reunited with passions that used to fuel my spirit. Maybe because I’ve experienced so much loss over the last 5 years. Maybe because I never felt middle-aged until this number crept up on me. Maybe because I lost the most precious person in my life recently, my beloved grandmother, and a piece of my soul could not return from that loss.

Add on top of this, covid, sheltering in place, being a disaster service worker; and watching my social media feed fill with so many voices suddenly in support of black lives as if something finally clicked, as if every black death that came before #georgefloyd was somehow justified; undeserving of the same scrutiny.

Aching to express these losses and desires, hopes and outrage; and a call to be alive AND living, elevates me now from wanting to write to needing to write.

I plan to post 1 poem a week, as a practice. If you find some value in my work, consider donating to the lgbtq freedom fund to help secure bail for trans and lgbq folks who are detained in jail or immigrant detention.

~ in solidarity towards a common humanity